[TM] 331 - Talk about something you used to love

[elementof_risk]

Summertime. Or, well, summer vacation to be more precise. It wasn't that I hated school or anything. It was fine. Learning was something necessary to get by in the world, and I managed to get by just fine among my peers when I put forth the effort. But the summers...in the summertime I got to go to Ireland, to Galway, and everything seemed like it had purpose. What I'd learned in math I got to put to use learning to break codes. What I'd learned in social studies I put to use studying the political movements across the globe. What I'd learned in science I used learning to build and defuse various weapons. Any sports got pushed toward real conditioning that would keep me alive. Archery became marksmanship. The awkward flirtations with the girls at the schools down the road was honed to become a weapon of a different kind. Languages got shown off and polished while we traveled around the globe. History had purpose in understanding the needs of my--her--clients.

It was the summers that gave shape to the rest of the year, the summers where the fun happened, the summers where the excitement lay. Everything else through the year was just preparation for the summer, for showing her how far I'd come, what I'd learned, what I was ready for. To make her proud.

Now they're just hotter days that follow and precede cooler ones with nothing to set them apart. Life itself sometimes has that whirl all the time the summers had, but even adrenaline rushes can start to become routine. Summer was something to anticipate, to plan for...and it's been a while since I've had something like that. Maybe that is just part of growing up, but there's still a sense of loss to it.

Then, again, maybe that's just the loss of her.