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elementof_risk...am not going to change. I am not going to suddenly discover a moral center. I am not going to develop an urge to serve either my country or the greater good. I am not going to become the hero of the tale, sweeping in to defeat the bad guys and save the world--though I'm perfectly happy to save her, should she ever need it again. That is different. That is her. For her I would do a great many things that are, perhaps, out of character. It started days after we met, with me turning down payment from her organization. I never turn down payment, but, for her, I did. To...I don't know. Impress her, perhaps, show her I wasn't so much the bad guy that they had told her I was. Of course, a few months later, I tortured her, so...possibly I fucked that up.
So. I may, from time to time, do something that helps the greater good, but she has to know that I will not change, not at the core, not where it matters. I do what is best for me, always. Keeping her safe is best for me. Giving up launch codes occasionally is best for me. Taking down a terrorist with a weapon of mass destruction might be best for me this week, but making sure he has what he needs to operate it might be best next week.
I will always be standing on the opposite side of all she and her friends hold dear, even if now and then we seem to be fighting for the same thing. I do not give a damn about protecting freedom and the American way. I honestly don't care if Western civilization is threatened--though I do find it highly unlikely it could be eradicated. My only loyalty in this world is to myself, and to her. I want her in my life, and so, selfishly, I will do what I need to do to keep her there until it conflicts too much with another need, and then...
Then I do not know. We will both have to accept whatever comes.
So. I may, from time to time, do something that helps the greater good, but she has to know that I will not change, not at the core, not where it matters. I do what is best for me, always. Keeping her safe is best for me. Giving up launch codes occasionally is best for me. Taking down a terrorist with a weapon of mass destruction might be best for me this week, but making sure he has what he needs to operate it might be best next week.
I will always be standing on the opposite side of all she and her friends hold dear, even if now and then we seem to be fighting for the same thing. I do not give a damn about protecting freedom and the American way. I honestly don't care if Western civilization is threatened--though I do find it highly unlikely it could be eradicated. My only loyalty in this world is to myself, and to her. I want her in my life, and so, selfishly, I will do what I need to do to keep her there until it conflicts too much with another need, and then...
Then I do not know. We will both have to accept whatever comes.
