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elementof_risk[ooc: Continued from "I love all of that, because I'm falling in love with you Julian."]
If he hadn't been still already, he would have stilled at that. As it was, his breath nearly stopped, or perhaps that was his heart, and then it started again in a warm flood of emotion that threatened to cut it all off again. He could feel every shift of her body, the words themselves seeming to reach down and reverberate between where they were joined. Each kiss felt as if it had been a precursor, leading to words that he hadn't expected to hear, even as he was picking the perfect roses, a wine he thought she'd enjoy, things for breakfast, for dinner. Each moment, each carefully laid plan, each thought to both preference and delight...they'd all danced around this, around wanting to make her smile, wanting to make her feel cared for, special...cherished. He swallowed, lips curving in a smile in a response to hers, the same sort of amazement flaring in his eyes, because whatever he had felt for rather a long time now, somehow he had not expected to hear any such thing from her, at least not now, not yet. He shifted, searching for words, fingers tracing lightly down the line of her cheek, along her jaw. His fingers brushed over her lips and then he kissed her again, taking that moment to ease breath around the lump in his throat. He smiled against her lips, then eased back again. When he smiled this time, it was more of a wicked smirk, though the glint in his eyes was softer, shining with a quiet sort of happiness very few people ever got to see from him. "Well, that is certainly good to hear," he murmured, tucking her hair back behind her ear, fingers tracing along her jaw again, "Since I am fairly certain I fell in love with you when you threatened to gag me. I was wondering if you'd ever catch up."
Even as he seemed to still even more at her words she knew it wasn't really exactly what she'd wanted to say and yet she was already wondering if she'd made a mistake. If she should have just risked it all and said the actual words that had been pooling at the back of her throat for at least a week. As he shifted she pulled in a breath still happily aware of his presence within her, making her roll her hips slightly into him as his touch was so careful against her features before he kissed her in reply. It was soft and gentle, and then the tension rose up in her a bit as he smirked at her, she was calmed though seeing the way his smirk reflected in his eyes that glint of something she'd seen only a few other times but recognized how it made her heart feel. His words weren't exactly what she'd expected, and clearly she wasn't sure if he was trying to draw out her real feelings or maybe even just put her at ease with a joke of sorts, but there didn't seem to be anything teasing in his actual words, and he'd said 'fell in love' but that was over a year ago.
Mirroring his smirk a bit in her features she shifted against him once more, rocking her hips into him feeling him move within her as she sighed. Lacing her arms up around his shoulders she pulled him down to her, "You are impossible." Rachel kissed him letting it linger against his mouth. Her kiss parted against his mouth letting her tongue press to his pulling him into a deeper kiss, as she shifted her hips again trying to coax him into something more than just stillness. Parting from his mouth she let her smile curve against his lips, "Simply impossible." She repeated it before returning to the kiss again, arching herself up to meet him and tangling her tongue to his before pulling away from him again, "Just what am I going to do with you?" She met his eyes once more feeling a bit more relaxed and still teasing him with her motions, "I'll just have to keep loving you."
Julian noticed the switch from falling in love to 'keep loving you', noticed it quite specifically, in fact, but he found himself distracted by those movements, the way her body arched, causing her hips to move, reminding him quite thoroughly that he was inside of her. He smirked slightly, lowering his head and kissing her, tongue slowly exploring her mouth. With a soft moan into the kiss, he eased his hips back, sliding almost all the way out of her before pressing back into her deeply. He kept kissing her, moving easily in and out of her with gentle, rocking strokes. As he moved, he let her words echo inside his head. Have to keep loving him. Even as he was impossible. Keep loving him. He could hear the words in his head and found that cadence in his strokes, the words echoing in ways he hadn't really considered before. It was there, out there, said, at least in their own ways, and it wasn't something he'd expected to find with her, no matter how long it had been building. A flicker of fear settled inside of him, though, because loving...meant loss, too young. His fingers tightened a bit on her jaw as if he could keep her close just with that contact as he broke the kiss, watching her, still moving smoothly. "That does seem like the best solution all around, at least from my point of view," he murmured.
The kiss she was greeted with felt intimate, more so than the joining of their bodies, it was fueled with a moan, and returned with a moan of her own pressing against his tongue as it tangled against her own. Her jaw grew slightly slack as he withdrew and her mouth recaptured along his. She let her teeth catch slightly to his bottom lip for a moment as she rose her hips up to meet his motions. It was slow, but it wasn't drawn out as much as it was simply them together... near perfectly. Letting her legs draw up a bit against his hips a bit she felt his fingers draw to her jaw, a bit firmer as he met her eyes. It wasn't the same touch as before, but it wasn't one she was afraid of, or worried over, she almost understood the need for it. The connection needed in their gaze, and his words still teasing slightly a murmur as if he wasn't sure if what she'd said was really what she felt. Her hand strayed up to his cheek once more, slipping to cradle behind his ear and pull him close to her again, to bring his mouth back to hers. Her kiss was needy, if anything it was more insistent as her motions mirrored his own into her, helping their cadence quicken a bit. Pulling from the kiss a bit breathless and biting back a moan of pleasure that got stuck in the back of her throat regardless, she fluttered a kiss across his mouth lazily, before the words whispered true to him, for him to hear, for them to never be denied that she hadn't said it, because she meant them, "Julian, I love you."
He was much better at saying this all around in layers and different ways, that quite so...it had been a while. His hips met her new cadence, moving with her a bit more urgently, though still struggling to keep it more sensual and intimate than hard and demanding. He kept his lips close to her, letting her words brush over his mouth, his skin, sink deep inside of him. He closed his eyes, let his lips find hers again, pressing lightly then harder again, hungry and touched and unsure how they got to this point, really. He was glad they were here, but his throat was thick, aching and dry. He nibbled at her lips as he kissed her, the fingers in his hair, cradling him, making him feel safe, which was another thing he was not used to feeling. His hips rocked into her a bit more quickly as he watched her again, eyes searching hers and seeing the truth of it there. The part of him that had wanted to protest when she said she wanted to date him, to tell her, remind her, of just what he was and why it was a bad idea, welled up, wanting to tell her she oughtn't love him. The other part of him felt a smug sort of awe and wonder. The habitual smirk that graced his lips softened into something softer, something almost vulnerable. He met her eyes and swallowed. "And I love you, Rachel."
For all of the impossible and the smart remarks she knew what he made her feel, aside from the physical intimacy. She knew that she worried when he wasn't there and that her heart quickened when she knew he was going to be at her home waiting. She knew that should he not want to see her again she'd be more hurt than upset and more upset than angry. She knew that she could dance around the words all night long without ever truly having to say them, but she had to say them to not only tell him that she was being honest, but to remind herself that this was more than just the past month. This was a year at least... even with the bad... even with the moment they chose to put behind them. It was something that still was on her mind, that other side of him the one that she saw for one night, she had seen countless times now. It wasn't just the danger that drew her to him, or the notion of being caught and having that risk once more. It wasn't the guise of Bob and Lydia keeping them safe, it was the truth and that in of itself had been enough for her to agree to meet him. Now though she couldn't even bear to think of not seeing him for a week, and he knew that... and at times she could have believed that he truly meant that he'd been in love with her that whole time. Still though, all she knew was how she felt and how he smiled at her before he spoke his own admission. It was shades away from his usual smile, even slightly different from the one she saw moments ago, and it made her feel protected. It made her sure of her own words. Her hips rose up to meet his once more their pace more even once again, built up from their words, and her urging. Her mouth pressed to his just to be closer to him again, fingernails scratching lightly against the nape of his neck. Her free hand moved down her body, pressing to her heat, brushing against her own clit lightly allowing small tremors of tension to be felt upon him. Her words spoken softly against his lips, "Come with me, please Julian."
His whole body had been yearning for just that from the moment she'd walked in the door, needing her against him, just like this, only now it was more. Whispered confessions were confessions all the same, and for someone not used to allowing emotional vulnerability, they hit hard and close to home. When her fingernails scratched across his skin, he almost whimpered, as much from the physical sensation as the emotional punch. He didn't allow himself to be vulnerable, and yet, here he was, handing over this much power...It made him close his eyes and press his lips back to hers, focusing on the physical sensations. She touched herself and his whole body tried to respond, arching into her, reasserting control as he found a slightly quicker rhythm, even as part of him held back and tried to just ease against and into her. It was a softer, more intimate, connection, and he reached to find the more demanding fervor that usually drove them. He reached for it, and still found himself moving in her more slowly, working to feel each inch of her, and yet for all the gentleness, his body seemed ready to overload from emotion driving the physical sensations higher. Her words seemed to make his whole body react, pleasure coiling fast and tight as if even his cells wanted to obey any order from her lips, give her what she asked for. He kissed her more deeply, allowing his hips to move inside of her a few more times as he tightened, feeling as if he were balancing on the edge of a knife, his body just waiting for hers to join him.
As his kiss deepened against her mouth Rachel's head tilted her mouth parting wider allowing his tongue to tangle to hers, to explore her mouth further as her hips rocked up against his, into her own touch, anything to allow the sensations to build up further. The slow circles she pressed against herself paired with the way he felt inside of her, his pace increasing she let a moan slip from her throat, low and nearing a purr of pleasure. Her hips flexed allowing her thighs to press hard to his hips her entire body tensing, her inner walls tightening against him. Pulling away from his mouth was almost needed as she drew in a sharp gasp backed by another plea of his name and a demand for him not to stop. The press of her fingertips and the hiss of air rushing into her lungs forced her chest to rise up pressing herself closer to him. With her motions continuing upon herself Rachel let her other hand inch back up against the nape of his neck, bringing him closer to her, a slow path of kisses trailed against his jaw leaving her mouth beside his ear. Pants of breath coming out in warm puffs against his skin and mewls of pleasure whimpering from her with each stroke he put into her and every slip of her fingers upon her heat. "Julian," her words whispered out of her between the chorus of sounds she was letting slip loose from her lips, "you feel so good." Her words were nearly cut off with a cry out that was barely audible, "Don't stop, God please don't stop Julian."
He turned his head to press kisses to her neck, nipping sharply as he thrust into her, somehow managing to keep the pace steady and even as they moved together. His breathing was ragged, as uneven as his thrusts were smooth. One hand wrapped into her hair, tangling as his lips moved over her. The other braced by her head, his fingers clutching at the bedsheets, fisting tight as he let the tension build inside of him, expressed only through the whiteness of his knuckles. There were moans behind the breaths, soft and catching in the back of his throat before breaking free against her skin. He could feel every place their bodies met, the press of her breasts to his chest, her thighs to his hips, his waist. The separation when he retreated out of her was cold enough to make him press back into her quickly and want to stay, joined and one. His tongue teased over her pulse, tasting the salt of the sweat that had raised on her skin, and then he nipped again as he rocked into her, somehow staying just on this side of orgasm, feeling her around him, the way her fingers brushed him by necessity as she teased herself, each movement nearly making him come undone. He chuckled just a bit against her skin, another admission sliding out on a shiver. "I missed you rather a lot...I'm not sure how much longer I can...I am so very close..."
She nodded feeling the tension in his shoulders and neck, her tongue teasing against his ear. "I know," she whispered pressing her fingers against herself harder with more pressure, "me too..." Her words trailed off into another moan unhinging her a bit. The word rather curving her smile into a bit of a smirk as her breath pulled in along with a sharp hiss. The contact of her fingertips pushed her closer, quicker and the words of him, the tease of his tongue across her skin and the moments of teeth to her as well all pulled her tighter. She could feel the burn in her abdomen, and the tension between her thighs, the heat and slick warmth of herself as he moved within her. Every nerve in her was alive and it was moments away from her, that coiled up tension that felt ready to snap. Her mouth pressed to his jaw right where his ear met the curve of bone, before she nearly winced in anticipation, knowing that the sounds from her were steady and constant. A near string of continual whimpers that pushed her further, until she felt that point of pressure in her, her hips met his stilling against him. Her mouth left his skin grazed back up to his ear, "Let go..." she breathed out as her breath tugged into her lungs in a near staggered beat. The burn deep within her rushed over her as she cried out, pulling his body close to her own in that moment. Feeling every inch of him deep within her, she tensed against him, walls fluttering and clenching in time with the movements that he still put into her.
He squeezed his eyes closed tight, sparks behind them, biting down on his lower lip so hard he almost drew blood. She was under him and around him, and each fluttering of her muscles seemed to set off another surge of pleasure, coursing through him until it was coiled tight inside of him, waiting. Her words were there, though, running over him both physically and emotionally. They let him release the hold he had on himself, thrusting harder for a moment, and then he stilled and cried out as the tension tightened once more inside of him, then exploded out, sparking along his nerves like a white hot fire. His body shuddered with the force of his release, her name and a few choice pleading curses mingled with endearments in Russian. His breath came hard and fast on the heels of the words, gasping as he tried desperately to pull air into his lungs and nonetheless feeling his whole body burning for lack of it. A sound almost like a whimper escaped, as he rested his forehead against her neck, his fingers clutching tighter into her skin to hold her close. His words were just a murmur, still slipping out in Russian, as if all he could manage was the reversion to his native tongue, or, perhaps, he needed to say it that way to make it truly real. "Ti tak velikolepna. Ya tebya lyublyu."
Rachel felt that moment of tension in his back and shoulders beneath her palms, clinging to him she held fast to her own climax as his own washed over the two of them, her arms pressing to him as much as she could as her body tensed and reacted to the sensations that were slipping freely through her. The heat of his release was felt within her, making her shift her hips against him to hold him close, to keep him within her. When her body began to tremble lightly with the slight echo of her orgasm she felt his body relax against her. The heavier weight of him, keeping her body warm, still giving her slight moments of contact that set her off just enough to pull her breath in, or let go a small shudder against him. The words held more weight than the feel of him tugging harder against her body, pulling her still closer to him. The softness of them, the curve of the language lilting up slightly. Her head shifted aside, to press against his resting to her neck. Rachel let her fingers move from his back to rest against the nape of his neck, and into his hair lightly stroking upward against the growth, messing it up probably more than anything, but still just wanting to keep touching him. Leaning up a bit she pressed a kiss to his shoulder lightly, smiling against the warmth of his skin parting her lips slightly to rake her teeth a bit, before smiling again. "Fantastic way to be greeted home," Rachel murmured against his skin once more with a smile, "Best welcome home gift ever."
He kept his eyes closed, breathing her in, letting his lips tease lightly against her neck as he breathed. He could feel her pulse against his lips and lower, around him, as his struggled to return to normal, and settled on being a bit erratic nonetheless. Everything they'd said spun a bit in his head as he righted into a sense of himself again, but he pushed any analysis of the implications away, shifting against her just a bit, staying close. He pressed a soft kiss to her neck, tongue teasing a circle around her pulse point, tasting salt before he smiled in response to her words. Only after a few moments did he finally lift his head, studying her. His fingers moved from her hip up to brush her hair back from her face, smoothing it down lightly. She took his breath away, literally and figuratively, and his lips curved in that soft smile again, fleeting, but there for a moment before the more customary smirk settled over it. "Well, now, it's just going to become the bar to be raised," he said with a mock sigh. "I'll plan something fabulous and exotic, and always it will be, 'don't you remember when...' and, of course, I will, but it's not really something that can be replicated, and I have to wonder if I've doomed us to substandard welcome homes from now on."
Smiling over at him Rachel let her tongue run across her teeth for a moment before shaking her head, "And once again we're back to you being impossible." Sighing she took in a deeper breath trying to let her heart rate lower just enough that it didn't feel like she was going to pass out. She shifted onto her side to face him a bit more, still close and letting her hands rest against his chest. Her fingers could nearly feel the steady beat of his heart beneath his chest as she leaned over to press her mouth to his skin. It was warm and heavy with the salt smell and she could smell the sex on him too which made her smirk against him. "Well at least we know you're doomed from the get go," she teased. "Because I have such high expectations now, but for your benefit I might just lower them. I'd hate for your ego to be bruised everytime I come home from a trip." Pulling away from him she let her hand rest still to him as she kissed him letting it linger and then deepen. She shut her eyes as the kiss continued before parting just enough to let words press between them, "Still if this is the highest the bar goes, I'm extremely impressed."
"So long as you're impressed, I suppose I can settle for never being able to top this," he said with a bit of a grin against her lips. He brushed his fingers back against her cheek, then down into her hair again, stretching out a little bit next to her on the bed. His hand slid out of her hair, down over her shoulder, lingering on her side. The grin tried to settle into his customary smirk, but happiness kept making it more of a smile that he couldn't quite get rid of, which was patently ridiculous, he thought. Oddly enough, it didn't bother him that much. "I'm glad you're home," he said softly, the worry he'd felt lingering a little in his eyes. "Did your mission go well?" He didn't expect she would give him any details, but if they could at least discuss small moments in this or that...he thought they could find a balance between the difference in their agendas and the fact that they really could understand the other's job and what it entails in the way that civilians, as it were, couldn't.
Rachel basked in the sort of ease that they had around them now, feeling his body grow taut a bit as he moved beside her she settled in against him as well. Resting her head there on his chest she nodded, fingertips tracing lightly from across his side to over his abdomen and then back again. "Mmm... you can always try though. I'm sure I'll always appreciate the effort." Leaning in a bit she pressed her mouth to his chest, letting her words murmur against skin for a moment, "It was a lot of flying for one night in a nightclub where one guy just didn't understand that I didn't want to 'enjoy his company' at all. But otherwise I think it went alright. Just a long flight, and I'm not a big fan of those." Sighing she shut her eyes a bit, relaxing her body and curling up along Julian a bit more. Both of them were still warm, and she shrugged her shoulders up a bit just to pull herself in tighter. "And you? Everything go okay?"
"Oh, I can promise to try and keep trying," he murmured, closing his eyes to savor the sensation of her lips against his skin, the warmth of her against him. He brushed his fingers through her hair and traced his fingers over her skin, sliding one arm around her to cradle her against him. He felt himself relaxing, his work the past week catching up to him in the knots that were in his shoulders that finally started to ease. "Long flights are never a fun thing, especially for shorter missions," he said with a slight frown of distaste. "But I'm glad it was successful for you." He thought back over his activities since they'd parted, fingers tracing lightly along her spine in an almost meditative touch. "I had a slight run in with MI6," he admitted, "But, obviously as I am here, I got out unscathed, and with what I went in to acquire. And my other task went well, as well." It was unlikely the MI6 job would cross her desk, he figured, though the British were probably looking to find a way to recover what they'd failed to before. However, the random destruction of a terrorist cell who's leader had been responsible for the death of several Americans including two CIA agents might make it, he thought. Whether the man had been above him on the list or not, Julian figured there wasn't any harm in winnowing down the competition, either way.
Her mouth parted against his skin biting lightly at his admission about MI6, "Trouble, trouble," Rachel mused for the moment. Inching up a bit she let her mouth press to his jaw lightly smirking against him. "MI6? That doesn't sound like you're being careful. Sounds like you're trying to get us into some sort of situation. Not that I'm not fond of the notion of running into you in the field, it doesn't exactly make me eager to go into work on Monday."
He ran his hand through her hair again with a bit of a sigh. "Unless you all have started cleaning up MI6's messes, there shouldn't be anything on your desk from that one. I doubt they'll want to admit they bungled the op," he murmured. "I suppose the other might...show up." There wasn't really an apologetic tone to his voice, more musing. "But I can't imagine that you'd be sent to do anything about it. Just a bulletin at the briefing, perhaps. But as for careful..." He sighed, looking down at her with a bit of a frown between his brows. "It was a job for an important client, love. I have been being more choosy about which jobs I take lately, but the intelligence world is not so big that I can do my job and avoid some entanglement in yours eventually. If the past few years are any indicator...the entanglement is fairly frequent. Everyone knows the big players in the game, and, for better or worse..." He was one of those players, especially with Irina and Sloane leaving such a big hole.
"Shhh," she murmured against his jaw not really wanting to talk shop anymore. "It's fine. We have our ties, and we have our jobs. End of the day I prefer you here beside me and all in one piece." She sighed once more settling further into an extremely comfortable mode of relaxed, flexing her toes a bit to press along his foot, and curving up a bit against his calf slightly. Her hand still traced lightly against his side fingertips nearly feeling a bit numb from the repeated motion. Shutting her eyes once more she pulled away from his jaw and settled against his shoulder, "Mmm... yeah see this is good." Exhaling deeply she smiled as she relaxed some more, "Really good."
He quieted at her kiss and her words, letting it ease him back from the slight flare of tension that had reasserted itself. His leg shifted against her foot, as he purposefully relaxed his muscles again, fingers brushing over her once more. "This is better than good," he agreed, closing his eyes again and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "This is worth all the risk, and even the time apart, just to have this, you here in my arms again." He'd missed her more this time than before, and he wondered if it was going to get worse each time, from now on. He considered something, worrying at his lower lip while keeping up his soft caresses over her skin. "You know, the next time you have some free time...a few days or so...you should come with me to one of my places."
Rachel still had her eyes closed sinking deeper into a calm state at the light touches he put upon her skin and the soft kiss atop her head. She smiled at his offer, "Are we actually going to start using the phrase 'your place or mine' because I don't think I've ever had the chance to say that. Aside from hotel rooms in Brazil, and there it wasn't really a choice it was my insistence." She let the question roll around a bit in her mind, knowing that really she'd opened up her home to him, and that his offer to do the same was suddenly sort of important. "I work next weekend, but I have the following off? We'll have to see if our schedules line up."
"I suppose we could start, though your colleagues might notice if you start leaving town regularly," he said with a bit of a smile. "I have to warn you...I'm never there that often. It's less...home like, I suppose, than here, but it is...mine." As much as anything was. He kept his eyes closed, as if that was the only way he could quite get through the offer. He'd lived in LA twice, but he had sold that place and most of its contents the last time he escaped APO custody. Lauren had seen that one, and a couple of others when they'd needed a safe house, but this was...different. Allison was the last one to truly know where he lived when there was a sense of permanence, and before that, he'd mostly called Irina's home in Galway the closest he had. "I'm in hotels, living out of my suitcase more often than I am ever...home." Which sounded like an odd word on his lips anyway. "But, even so." He bit his lower lip. "I can be free the following weekend. Somewhere warm, or more of a city?" he asked, sorting through which place to take her to, first.
Rachel nodded, though she knew that Sydney was still urging her to have a life outside of the office. She was fairly certain that she hadn't exactly meant anything like this, but Rachel wasn't going to argue that with herself. She was happy and clearly if that required her taking some time away from Los Angeles, and not for a mission maybe it wouldn't be so bad in the end. Nuzzling up against his neck Rachel let her nose bury against his neck a bit as she shut her eyes resting there beside him. "Somewhere warm sounds good," she murmured against his skin, "and honestly if they start to ask about my non-work trips I'll just have to tell them that I'm tired of visiting places to be there for a day and leave."
"I've a place in St. Martin, outside of Marigot," he said after a moment. "The weather should be perfect this time of year, and it has its own private beach. There's a market on Saturdays, live music outside most nights...It's really quite lovely there." He bit his lower lip, fingers straying back to her hair, head tilting just a bit for her nuzzling. He felt all twisted up in knots, words and confessions and offers out there in the open. He'd let down a wall and let her in and part of his instinct was to throw up a new one, fast, push her back out from where she'd wandered, but the other part of him just wanted to pull her closer, and he listened to that one. "If you could get a flight out Friday, we could have two full days..."
Rachel smiled against his neck as she felt him pull her closer. It was these moments that had lured her into him, these small touches that proved over and over that he wasn't simply just a business man who knew that he'd gotten her trapped in his web of charm and smirks. The words were amazing, they held a lot of emotion, and a lot of vulnerability that she knew left him unguarded, but they didn't mean as much to her as it did to just feel the way he made her feel. Needed, not just wanted, and taken care of not just given attention. "I could get a flight out Friday, drag the weekend all the way til... Monday maybe," Rachel mumbled against his neck as she shrugged her shoulder up a bit stretching her back while still trying to stay close to him. "I could pack light, just so I have less to wear," she teased lightly the corners of her mouth curving up into a smirk, "I think two full days sounds amazing."
"The longer you can stay, the happier I am to have you there," he said with a bit of a smirk of his own. "And I can promise you that not many clothes will be required at all. Really, considering the beach is private, and the ones that aren't are still mostly all clothing optional--St. Martin being French, after all--even bathing suits are optional." He shifted a little, stretching a bit and curling on to his side facing her, trailing his fingers over her skin. He ducked his head to kiss her softly, fingers sliding up to cradle her chin. "Have you ever been to the islands aside from the time you followed me to Nassau?" he asked, lifting his head with a bit of a smirk. "Sydney did put a bit of a damper on that, as I recall. I think we can enjoy ourselves a bit more this time."
Smiling against his mouth she returned his kiss, soft and intimate, letting it linger for a moment with her smile before he pulled away a bit. "I have not been to the islands aside from the picking you up from the plane thing, and yes Sydney being there did sort of kill the mood. Though the truth did that a bit too. You did seem happy to see Lydia though, it was sort of cute." Rachel smirked at him before pressing her mouth to his, letting her lips part deepening the kiss for a moment before she pulled away, "Though I'm sure you have an issue with the word cute, but right now you are just incredibly sexy so we can keep that adjective afloat for the moment." Her fingertips strayed against his chin and up along his jawline before settling behind his ear meeting his gaze and smiling again, "Yeah definitely incredibly sexy for the adjective of the day."
He propped himself up on his elbow, lazily teasing his fingers up and down the center of her body, over her stomach as he leaned into her touch The cute comment got a wry smile and a quelling look, as if daring her to use it again, though it softened when the adjective changed. "Incredibly sexy is generally more what I'm going for than 'cute', yes. Cute is not really all that effective in getting through the day. Underestimation can only go so far." Working the dangerous, sexy, never know what's coming vibe on the other hand, generally got him what he wanted, or at least a decent fee and some respect. He'd survived, even as organizations tumbled and cohorts were captured or killed. It helped to make sure people remembered that, and cute? Wasn't going to cut it. "I have to say, though, that I was very happy to see Lydia. I'd never thought to, again, and was regretting it already, though I am sorry the truth took some of the shine off."
Feeling at ease, feeling really at home with Julian beside her wasn't exactly a new feeling but this was awash with a newness that she was planning on clinging to just a bit longer. The truth about who he was had been a bit jarring, and the needling that he'd handed to her during the remainder of the mission built up her frustrations with him. Still the truth had been a beginning and now, even after everything, she trusted him with herself. Not with the detonation codes to anything that would grant him world domination, or the contents of her laptop, but with herself. She felt that was actually a bit more valuable anyway, but that was her own childhood notions of love flitting into her head. As he lay beside her Rachel shifted onto her side, letting her back press to him settling into him more than simply against him. Using his arm and his pillow to rest her head upon as she nodded, "Mmm... if I hadn't found out, I probably would've met you anyway... rather Lydia would've. This is better though," she admitted honestly.
Julian shifted to slide his arm around her waist, his palm resting flat against her stomach. Leaning forward a bit, he dropped a kiss on her shoulder, chuckling softly. "How long do you think we could have kept it up?" he asked. "If Bob had found a way to contact Lydia, to arrange to see her again, and she'd agreed..." He tried to imagine it, knowing he could keep the alias up if necessary, but also wondering when it would have caught up with him. When Sloane sent him after her? Would she have opened the door, and both of them felt the shock of it? Would he have refused, then, if it had been more than just the few hours, the mission? Or would one of them have faltered beforehand, let something slip? If not for Sloane and Irina, it could have gone on for years, he thought, and part of him wondered what that would be like. He knew so many spies who lied to their significant others, who said they did one thing when they did another. The State Department. The bank. If you didn't get involved with someone at work, you almost never told the truth. Would it have been like that for them? Of course, the first time she told him she wanted him to meet her friends, the gig would have been up, but if she was pretending to be Lydia, would it ever have gone that far? It was amusing speculation, but he finally agreed. "You are right, of course. This is better, though it is amusing to think of."
Letting her hand settle atop his against her stomach she laughed at the notion of Bob and Lydia meeting up for hotel rooms and bars. Accents disguising who they were, never letting the other know the truth. In a way it seemed to have some sort of thrill to it, the danger of each of their lives hidden behind the boring guise of modern business. "I'm not sure if I could find enough conferences to pretend to go to just to see you enough to be honest. I'm pretty sure work would've noticed that." Letting her breath pull into her lungs slowly and deeply she settled against him more firmly. Her body relaxed against his, letting the arch of her foot curve against his shin lightly as she shut her eyes for a moment. "Amusing sure, because you're not the one using Wikipedia to support their employment in case Bob would ever want Lydia to talk about her day." Another deep breath and it felt as if the flight had finally caught up to her. The earlier confessions simply awakening her heart and keeping her exhaustion at bay. Now though with everything settling around her she was at ease and comfortable with her life and her situation with Julian.
He watched her as she settled, a small smile on his face as her eyes closed and he saw her chest move with her breath. He pulled his hand away only to reach for the covers and pull them up over the two of them, then snuggled back down right where he had been, hand drifting back to her stomach, fingertips lightly stroking her skin. "You wouldn't have had to lie to work," he pointed out, though his voice was just a soft murmur. "No harm in seeing an American businessman." He dropped a lazy kiss on her shoulder, before settling his head on the pillow and closing his eyes, as well. She was warm in the slight chill the condo had taken on, and he pressed closer to her, nuzzling a little at the back of her neck, feeling a sense of contentment settle over him, a deeper relaxation than he was used to working its way through his muscles. "But heaven forbid I drive you to Wikipedia. I'd never forgive myself."
Her laughter was a small murmur through her still closed mouth, as she took a great comfort in the feel of him easing against her back the way he had. The care he took to tuck them in, the soft press of his mouth to her shoulder, all of it made her realize that she had spoken the truth telling him that she loved him, and that despite his slight teasing in his confession that he loved her as well. "I'll have you know that seeing an American business man is one thing, but traveling to conferences for hot hotel sex is completely another," her words were soft, and still with a great deal of a teasing tone, "Besides correcting Wikipedia is one of my hobbies at work, when I'm not shamelessly locking comments to you. I'd hate for all my valuable information to go unused."
"The American tax dollars at work," he said with the hint of a teasing laugh in his voice. "I am sure Wikipedia appreciates your efforts. I know I do, considering some of what they've got on there." He quieted for a few minutes, just holding her, feeling each breath she took, and the way his naturally shifted to synchronize with hers until they were breathing in almost the same rhythm, the rise and fall in tandem, as close as they were pressed. Part of him wanted to keep talking, to draw out these soft moments of realization with her, to experience the sheer flush of newness that came with it. The other part just wanted to drift off, holding her, knowing she'd be there come morning, still, and the next as well, his to hold by her own choice.
The silence that came after his remark didn't sound empty or needing to be filled with something. She had the notion to try and find something else to say, but instead found some satisfaction of simply being this still with him. Everything with them was always a rush of heat and passion, and she knew there were the quiet moments too, but this was different than all of them. This wasn't simply pure exhaustion playing them to silence, this was both of them just happy to be silent because there wasn't a worry that silence meant an ending. His breathing almost seemed to match to hers, and when it didn't she almost felt her body slowing to make sure it did. To let some other part of her join to him in their silence. Breaking the silence almost felt like a betrayal to everything she was enjoying about there being no need for words but she still wanted to say it because it felt like something else she needed to say just so it felt more real. "Good night Julian," she breathed out as she smiled still resting beside him drifting off slowly.
"Good night, Rachel," he murmured softly in reply, his arm tightening around her a bit. He felt when her breathing evened, as it deepened toward sleep, and he fought to keep it from claiming him until he knew she was sleeping, when the warm weight of her had relaxed completely against him and he could smile a bit one more time and finally let himself follow her.
If he hadn't been still already, he would have stilled at that. As it was, his breath nearly stopped, or perhaps that was his heart, and then it started again in a warm flood of emotion that threatened to cut it all off again. He could feel every shift of her body, the words themselves seeming to reach down and reverberate between where they were joined. Each kiss felt as if it had been a precursor, leading to words that he hadn't expected to hear, even as he was picking the perfect roses, a wine he thought she'd enjoy, things for breakfast, for dinner. Each moment, each carefully laid plan, each thought to both preference and delight...they'd all danced around this, around wanting to make her smile, wanting to make her feel cared for, special...cherished. He swallowed, lips curving in a smile in a response to hers, the same sort of amazement flaring in his eyes, because whatever he had felt for rather a long time now, somehow he had not expected to hear any such thing from her, at least not now, not yet. He shifted, searching for words, fingers tracing lightly down the line of her cheek, along her jaw. His fingers brushed over her lips and then he kissed her again, taking that moment to ease breath around the lump in his throat. He smiled against her lips, then eased back again. When he smiled this time, it was more of a wicked smirk, though the glint in his eyes was softer, shining with a quiet sort of happiness very few people ever got to see from him. "Well, that is certainly good to hear," he murmured, tucking her hair back behind her ear, fingers tracing along her jaw again, "Since I am fairly certain I fell in love with you when you threatened to gag me. I was wondering if you'd ever catch up."
Even as he seemed to still even more at her words she knew it wasn't really exactly what she'd wanted to say and yet she was already wondering if she'd made a mistake. If she should have just risked it all and said the actual words that had been pooling at the back of her throat for at least a week. As he shifted she pulled in a breath still happily aware of his presence within her, making her roll her hips slightly into him as his touch was so careful against her features before he kissed her in reply. It was soft and gentle, and then the tension rose up in her a bit as he smirked at her, she was calmed though seeing the way his smirk reflected in his eyes that glint of something she'd seen only a few other times but recognized how it made her heart feel. His words weren't exactly what she'd expected, and clearly she wasn't sure if he was trying to draw out her real feelings or maybe even just put her at ease with a joke of sorts, but there didn't seem to be anything teasing in his actual words, and he'd said 'fell in love' but that was over a year ago.
Mirroring his smirk a bit in her features she shifted against him once more, rocking her hips into him feeling him move within her as she sighed. Lacing her arms up around his shoulders she pulled him down to her, "You are impossible." Rachel kissed him letting it linger against his mouth. Her kiss parted against his mouth letting her tongue press to his pulling him into a deeper kiss, as she shifted her hips again trying to coax him into something more than just stillness. Parting from his mouth she let her smile curve against his lips, "Simply impossible." She repeated it before returning to the kiss again, arching herself up to meet him and tangling her tongue to his before pulling away from him again, "Just what am I going to do with you?" She met his eyes once more feeling a bit more relaxed and still teasing him with her motions, "I'll just have to keep loving you."
Julian noticed the switch from falling in love to 'keep loving you', noticed it quite specifically, in fact, but he found himself distracted by those movements, the way her body arched, causing her hips to move, reminding him quite thoroughly that he was inside of her. He smirked slightly, lowering his head and kissing her, tongue slowly exploring her mouth. With a soft moan into the kiss, he eased his hips back, sliding almost all the way out of her before pressing back into her deeply. He kept kissing her, moving easily in and out of her with gentle, rocking strokes. As he moved, he let her words echo inside his head. Have to keep loving him. Even as he was impossible. Keep loving him. He could hear the words in his head and found that cadence in his strokes, the words echoing in ways he hadn't really considered before. It was there, out there, said, at least in their own ways, and it wasn't something he'd expected to find with her, no matter how long it had been building. A flicker of fear settled inside of him, though, because loving...meant loss, too young. His fingers tightened a bit on her jaw as if he could keep her close just with that contact as he broke the kiss, watching her, still moving smoothly. "That does seem like the best solution all around, at least from my point of view," he murmured.
The kiss she was greeted with felt intimate, more so than the joining of their bodies, it was fueled with a moan, and returned with a moan of her own pressing against his tongue as it tangled against her own. Her jaw grew slightly slack as he withdrew and her mouth recaptured along his. She let her teeth catch slightly to his bottom lip for a moment as she rose her hips up to meet his motions. It was slow, but it wasn't drawn out as much as it was simply them together... near perfectly. Letting her legs draw up a bit against his hips a bit she felt his fingers draw to her jaw, a bit firmer as he met her eyes. It wasn't the same touch as before, but it wasn't one she was afraid of, or worried over, she almost understood the need for it. The connection needed in their gaze, and his words still teasing slightly a murmur as if he wasn't sure if what she'd said was really what she felt. Her hand strayed up to his cheek once more, slipping to cradle behind his ear and pull him close to her again, to bring his mouth back to hers. Her kiss was needy, if anything it was more insistent as her motions mirrored his own into her, helping their cadence quicken a bit. Pulling from the kiss a bit breathless and biting back a moan of pleasure that got stuck in the back of her throat regardless, she fluttered a kiss across his mouth lazily, before the words whispered true to him, for him to hear, for them to never be denied that she hadn't said it, because she meant them, "Julian, I love you."
He was much better at saying this all around in layers and different ways, that quite so...it had been a while. His hips met her new cadence, moving with her a bit more urgently, though still struggling to keep it more sensual and intimate than hard and demanding. He kept his lips close to her, letting her words brush over his mouth, his skin, sink deep inside of him. He closed his eyes, let his lips find hers again, pressing lightly then harder again, hungry and touched and unsure how they got to this point, really. He was glad they were here, but his throat was thick, aching and dry. He nibbled at her lips as he kissed her, the fingers in his hair, cradling him, making him feel safe, which was another thing he was not used to feeling. His hips rocked into her a bit more quickly as he watched her again, eyes searching hers and seeing the truth of it there. The part of him that had wanted to protest when she said she wanted to date him, to tell her, remind her, of just what he was and why it was a bad idea, welled up, wanting to tell her she oughtn't love him. The other part of him felt a smug sort of awe and wonder. The habitual smirk that graced his lips softened into something softer, something almost vulnerable. He met her eyes and swallowed. "And I love you, Rachel."
For all of the impossible and the smart remarks she knew what he made her feel, aside from the physical intimacy. She knew that she worried when he wasn't there and that her heart quickened when she knew he was going to be at her home waiting. She knew that should he not want to see her again she'd be more hurt than upset and more upset than angry. She knew that she could dance around the words all night long without ever truly having to say them, but she had to say them to not only tell him that she was being honest, but to remind herself that this was more than just the past month. This was a year at least... even with the bad... even with the moment they chose to put behind them. It was something that still was on her mind, that other side of him the one that she saw for one night, she had seen countless times now. It wasn't just the danger that drew her to him, or the notion of being caught and having that risk once more. It wasn't the guise of Bob and Lydia keeping them safe, it was the truth and that in of itself had been enough for her to agree to meet him. Now though she couldn't even bear to think of not seeing him for a week, and he knew that... and at times she could have believed that he truly meant that he'd been in love with her that whole time. Still though, all she knew was how she felt and how he smiled at her before he spoke his own admission. It was shades away from his usual smile, even slightly different from the one she saw moments ago, and it made her feel protected. It made her sure of her own words. Her hips rose up to meet his once more their pace more even once again, built up from their words, and her urging. Her mouth pressed to his just to be closer to him again, fingernails scratching lightly against the nape of his neck. Her free hand moved down her body, pressing to her heat, brushing against her own clit lightly allowing small tremors of tension to be felt upon him. Her words spoken softly against his lips, "Come with me, please Julian."
His whole body had been yearning for just that from the moment she'd walked in the door, needing her against him, just like this, only now it was more. Whispered confessions were confessions all the same, and for someone not used to allowing emotional vulnerability, they hit hard and close to home. When her fingernails scratched across his skin, he almost whimpered, as much from the physical sensation as the emotional punch. He didn't allow himself to be vulnerable, and yet, here he was, handing over this much power...It made him close his eyes and press his lips back to hers, focusing on the physical sensations. She touched herself and his whole body tried to respond, arching into her, reasserting control as he found a slightly quicker rhythm, even as part of him held back and tried to just ease against and into her. It was a softer, more intimate, connection, and he reached to find the more demanding fervor that usually drove them. He reached for it, and still found himself moving in her more slowly, working to feel each inch of her, and yet for all the gentleness, his body seemed ready to overload from emotion driving the physical sensations higher. Her words seemed to make his whole body react, pleasure coiling fast and tight as if even his cells wanted to obey any order from her lips, give her what she asked for. He kissed her more deeply, allowing his hips to move inside of her a few more times as he tightened, feeling as if he were balancing on the edge of a knife, his body just waiting for hers to join him.
As his kiss deepened against her mouth Rachel's head tilted her mouth parting wider allowing his tongue to tangle to hers, to explore her mouth further as her hips rocked up against his, into her own touch, anything to allow the sensations to build up further. The slow circles she pressed against herself paired with the way he felt inside of her, his pace increasing she let a moan slip from her throat, low and nearing a purr of pleasure. Her hips flexed allowing her thighs to press hard to his hips her entire body tensing, her inner walls tightening against him. Pulling away from his mouth was almost needed as she drew in a sharp gasp backed by another plea of his name and a demand for him not to stop. The press of her fingertips and the hiss of air rushing into her lungs forced her chest to rise up pressing herself closer to him. With her motions continuing upon herself Rachel let her other hand inch back up against the nape of his neck, bringing him closer to her, a slow path of kisses trailed against his jaw leaving her mouth beside his ear. Pants of breath coming out in warm puffs against his skin and mewls of pleasure whimpering from her with each stroke he put into her and every slip of her fingers upon her heat. "Julian," her words whispered out of her between the chorus of sounds she was letting slip loose from her lips, "you feel so good." Her words were nearly cut off with a cry out that was barely audible, "Don't stop, God please don't stop Julian."
He turned his head to press kisses to her neck, nipping sharply as he thrust into her, somehow managing to keep the pace steady and even as they moved together. His breathing was ragged, as uneven as his thrusts were smooth. One hand wrapped into her hair, tangling as his lips moved over her. The other braced by her head, his fingers clutching at the bedsheets, fisting tight as he let the tension build inside of him, expressed only through the whiteness of his knuckles. There were moans behind the breaths, soft and catching in the back of his throat before breaking free against her skin. He could feel every place their bodies met, the press of her breasts to his chest, her thighs to his hips, his waist. The separation when he retreated out of her was cold enough to make him press back into her quickly and want to stay, joined and one. His tongue teased over her pulse, tasting the salt of the sweat that had raised on her skin, and then he nipped again as he rocked into her, somehow staying just on this side of orgasm, feeling her around him, the way her fingers brushed him by necessity as she teased herself, each movement nearly making him come undone. He chuckled just a bit against her skin, another admission sliding out on a shiver. "I missed you rather a lot...I'm not sure how much longer I can...I am so very close..."
She nodded feeling the tension in his shoulders and neck, her tongue teasing against his ear. "I know," she whispered pressing her fingers against herself harder with more pressure, "me too..." Her words trailed off into another moan unhinging her a bit. The word rather curving her smile into a bit of a smirk as her breath pulled in along with a sharp hiss. The contact of her fingertips pushed her closer, quicker and the words of him, the tease of his tongue across her skin and the moments of teeth to her as well all pulled her tighter. She could feel the burn in her abdomen, and the tension between her thighs, the heat and slick warmth of herself as he moved within her. Every nerve in her was alive and it was moments away from her, that coiled up tension that felt ready to snap. Her mouth pressed to his jaw right where his ear met the curve of bone, before she nearly winced in anticipation, knowing that the sounds from her were steady and constant. A near string of continual whimpers that pushed her further, until she felt that point of pressure in her, her hips met his stilling against him. Her mouth left his skin grazed back up to his ear, "Let go..." she breathed out as her breath tugged into her lungs in a near staggered beat. The burn deep within her rushed over her as she cried out, pulling his body close to her own in that moment. Feeling every inch of him deep within her, she tensed against him, walls fluttering and clenching in time with the movements that he still put into her.
He squeezed his eyes closed tight, sparks behind them, biting down on his lower lip so hard he almost drew blood. She was under him and around him, and each fluttering of her muscles seemed to set off another surge of pleasure, coursing through him until it was coiled tight inside of him, waiting. Her words were there, though, running over him both physically and emotionally. They let him release the hold he had on himself, thrusting harder for a moment, and then he stilled and cried out as the tension tightened once more inside of him, then exploded out, sparking along his nerves like a white hot fire. His body shuddered with the force of his release, her name and a few choice pleading curses mingled with endearments in Russian. His breath came hard and fast on the heels of the words, gasping as he tried desperately to pull air into his lungs and nonetheless feeling his whole body burning for lack of it. A sound almost like a whimper escaped, as he rested his forehead against her neck, his fingers clutching tighter into her skin to hold her close. His words were just a murmur, still slipping out in Russian, as if all he could manage was the reversion to his native tongue, or, perhaps, he needed to say it that way to make it truly real. "Ti tak velikolepna. Ya tebya lyublyu."
Rachel felt that moment of tension in his back and shoulders beneath her palms, clinging to him she held fast to her own climax as his own washed over the two of them, her arms pressing to him as much as she could as her body tensed and reacted to the sensations that were slipping freely through her. The heat of his release was felt within her, making her shift her hips against him to hold him close, to keep him within her. When her body began to tremble lightly with the slight echo of her orgasm she felt his body relax against her. The heavier weight of him, keeping her body warm, still giving her slight moments of contact that set her off just enough to pull her breath in, or let go a small shudder against him. The words held more weight than the feel of him tugging harder against her body, pulling her still closer to him. The softness of them, the curve of the language lilting up slightly. Her head shifted aside, to press against his resting to her neck. Rachel let her fingers move from his back to rest against the nape of his neck, and into his hair lightly stroking upward against the growth, messing it up probably more than anything, but still just wanting to keep touching him. Leaning up a bit she pressed a kiss to his shoulder lightly, smiling against the warmth of his skin parting her lips slightly to rake her teeth a bit, before smiling again. "Fantastic way to be greeted home," Rachel murmured against his skin once more with a smile, "Best welcome home gift ever."
He kept his eyes closed, breathing her in, letting his lips tease lightly against her neck as he breathed. He could feel her pulse against his lips and lower, around him, as his struggled to return to normal, and settled on being a bit erratic nonetheless. Everything they'd said spun a bit in his head as he righted into a sense of himself again, but he pushed any analysis of the implications away, shifting against her just a bit, staying close. He pressed a soft kiss to her neck, tongue teasing a circle around her pulse point, tasting salt before he smiled in response to her words. Only after a few moments did he finally lift his head, studying her. His fingers moved from her hip up to brush her hair back from her face, smoothing it down lightly. She took his breath away, literally and figuratively, and his lips curved in that soft smile again, fleeting, but there for a moment before the more customary smirk settled over it. "Well, now, it's just going to become the bar to be raised," he said with a mock sigh. "I'll plan something fabulous and exotic, and always it will be, 'don't you remember when...' and, of course, I will, but it's not really something that can be replicated, and I have to wonder if I've doomed us to substandard welcome homes from now on."
Smiling over at him Rachel let her tongue run across her teeth for a moment before shaking her head, "And once again we're back to you being impossible." Sighing she took in a deeper breath trying to let her heart rate lower just enough that it didn't feel like she was going to pass out. She shifted onto her side to face him a bit more, still close and letting her hands rest against his chest. Her fingers could nearly feel the steady beat of his heart beneath his chest as she leaned over to press her mouth to his skin. It was warm and heavy with the salt smell and she could smell the sex on him too which made her smirk against him. "Well at least we know you're doomed from the get go," she teased. "Because I have such high expectations now, but for your benefit I might just lower them. I'd hate for your ego to be bruised everytime I come home from a trip." Pulling away from him she let her hand rest still to him as she kissed him letting it linger and then deepen. She shut her eyes as the kiss continued before parting just enough to let words press between them, "Still if this is the highest the bar goes, I'm extremely impressed."
"So long as you're impressed, I suppose I can settle for never being able to top this," he said with a bit of a grin against her lips. He brushed his fingers back against her cheek, then down into her hair again, stretching out a little bit next to her on the bed. His hand slid out of her hair, down over her shoulder, lingering on her side. The grin tried to settle into his customary smirk, but happiness kept making it more of a smile that he couldn't quite get rid of, which was patently ridiculous, he thought. Oddly enough, it didn't bother him that much. "I'm glad you're home," he said softly, the worry he'd felt lingering a little in his eyes. "Did your mission go well?" He didn't expect she would give him any details, but if they could at least discuss small moments in this or that...he thought they could find a balance between the difference in their agendas and the fact that they really could understand the other's job and what it entails in the way that civilians, as it were, couldn't.
Rachel basked in the sort of ease that they had around them now, feeling his body grow taut a bit as he moved beside her she settled in against him as well. Resting her head there on his chest she nodded, fingertips tracing lightly from across his side to over his abdomen and then back again. "Mmm... you can always try though. I'm sure I'll always appreciate the effort." Leaning in a bit she pressed her mouth to his chest, letting her words murmur against skin for a moment, "It was a lot of flying for one night in a nightclub where one guy just didn't understand that I didn't want to 'enjoy his company' at all. But otherwise I think it went alright. Just a long flight, and I'm not a big fan of those." Sighing she shut her eyes a bit, relaxing her body and curling up along Julian a bit more. Both of them were still warm, and she shrugged her shoulders up a bit just to pull herself in tighter. "And you? Everything go okay?"
"Oh, I can promise to try and keep trying," he murmured, closing his eyes to savor the sensation of her lips against his skin, the warmth of her against him. He brushed his fingers through her hair and traced his fingers over her skin, sliding one arm around her to cradle her against him. He felt himself relaxing, his work the past week catching up to him in the knots that were in his shoulders that finally started to ease. "Long flights are never a fun thing, especially for shorter missions," he said with a slight frown of distaste. "But I'm glad it was successful for you." He thought back over his activities since they'd parted, fingers tracing lightly along her spine in an almost meditative touch. "I had a slight run in with MI6," he admitted, "But, obviously as I am here, I got out unscathed, and with what I went in to acquire. And my other task went well, as well." It was unlikely the MI6 job would cross her desk, he figured, though the British were probably looking to find a way to recover what they'd failed to before. However, the random destruction of a terrorist cell who's leader had been responsible for the death of several Americans including two CIA agents might make it, he thought. Whether the man had been above him on the list or not, Julian figured there wasn't any harm in winnowing down the competition, either way.
Her mouth parted against his skin biting lightly at his admission about MI6, "Trouble, trouble," Rachel mused for the moment. Inching up a bit she let her mouth press to his jaw lightly smirking against him. "MI6? That doesn't sound like you're being careful. Sounds like you're trying to get us into some sort of situation. Not that I'm not fond of the notion of running into you in the field, it doesn't exactly make me eager to go into work on Monday."
He ran his hand through her hair again with a bit of a sigh. "Unless you all have started cleaning up MI6's messes, there shouldn't be anything on your desk from that one. I doubt they'll want to admit they bungled the op," he murmured. "I suppose the other might...show up." There wasn't really an apologetic tone to his voice, more musing. "But I can't imagine that you'd be sent to do anything about it. Just a bulletin at the briefing, perhaps. But as for careful..." He sighed, looking down at her with a bit of a frown between his brows. "It was a job for an important client, love. I have been being more choosy about which jobs I take lately, but the intelligence world is not so big that I can do my job and avoid some entanglement in yours eventually. If the past few years are any indicator...the entanglement is fairly frequent. Everyone knows the big players in the game, and, for better or worse..." He was one of those players, especially with Irina and Sloane leaving such a big hole.
"Shhh," she murmured against his jaw not really wanting to talk shop anymore. "It's fine. We have our ties, and we have our jobs. End of the day I prefer you here beside me and all in one piece." She sighed once more settling further into an extremely comfortable mode of relaxed, flexing her toes a bit to press along his foot, and curving up a bit against his calf slightly. Her hand still traced lightly against his side fingertips nearly feeling a bit numb from the repeated motion. Shutting her eyes once more she pulled away from his jaw and settled against his shoulder, "Mmm... yeah see this is good." Exhaling deeply she smiled as she relaxed some more, "Really good."
He quieted at her kiss and her words, letting it ease him back from the slight flare of tension that had reasserted itself. His leg shifted against her foot, as he purposefully relaxed his muscles again, fingers brushing over her once more. "This is better than good," he agreed, closing his eyes again and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "This is worth all the risk, and even the time apart, just to have this, you here in my arms again." He'd missed her more this time than before, and he wondered if it was going to get worse each time, from now on. He considered something, worrying at his lower lip while keeping up his soft caresses over her skin. "You know, the next time you have some free time...a few days or so...you should come with me to one of my places."
Rachel still had her eyes closed sinking deeper into a calm state at the light touches he put upon her skin and the soft kiss atop her head. She smiled at his offer, "Are we actually going to start using the phrase 'your place or mine' because I don't think I've ever had the chance to say that. Aside from hotel rooms in Brazil, and there it wasn't really a choice it was my insistence." She let the question roll around a bit in her mind, knowing that really she'd opened up her home to him, and that his offer to do the same was suddenly sort of important. "I work next weekend, but I have the following off? We'll have to see if our schedules line up."
"I suppose we could start, though your colleagues might notice if you start leaving town regularly," he said with a bit of a smile. "I have to warn you...I'm never there that often. It's less...home like, I suppose, than here, but it is...mine." As much as anything was. He kept his eyes closed, as if that was the only way he could quite get through the offer. He'd lived in LA twice, but he had sold that place and most of its contents the last time he escaped APO custody. Lauren had seen that one, and a couple of others when they'd needed a safe house, but this was...different. Allison was the last one to truly know where he lived when there was a sense of permanence, and before that, he'd mostly called Irina's home in Galway the closest he had. "I'm in hotels, living out of my suitcase more often than I am ever...home." Which sounded like an odd word on his lips anyway. "But, even so." He bit his lower lip. "I can be free the following weekend. Somewhere warm, or more of a city?" he asked, sorting through which place to take her to, first.
Rachel nodded, though she knew that Sydney was still urging her to have a life outside of the office. She was fairly certain that she hadn't exactly meant anything like this, but Rachel wasn't going to argue that with herself. She was happy and clearly if that required her taking some time away from Los Angeles, and not for a mission maybe it wouldn't be so bad in the end. Nuzzling up against his neck Rachel let her nose bury against his neck a bit as she shut her eyes resting there beside him. "Somewhere warm sounds good," she murmured against his skin, "and honestly if they start to ask about my non-work trips I'll just have to tell them that I'm tired of visiting places to be there for a day and leave."
"I've a place in St. Martin, outside of Marigot," he said after a moment. "The weather should be perfect this time of year, and it has its own private beach. There's a market on Saturdays, live music outside most nights...It's really quite lovely there." He bit his lower lip, fingers straying back to her hair, head tilting just a bit for her nuzzling. He felt all twisted up in knots, words and confessions and offers out there in the open. He'd let down a wall and let her in and part of his instinct was to throw up a new one, fast, push her back out from where she'd wandered, but the other part of him just wanted to pull her closer, and he listened to that one. "If you could get a flight out Friday, we could have two full days..."
Rachel smiled against his neck as she felt him pull her closer. It was these moments that had lured her into him, these small touches that proved over and over that he wasn't simply just a business man who knew that he'd gotten her trapped in his web of charm and smirks. The words were amazing, they held a lot of emotion, and a lot of vulnerability that she knew left him unguarded, but they didn't mean as much to her as it did to just feel the way he made her feel. Needed, not just wanted, and taken care of not just given attention. "I could get a flight out Friday, drag the weekend all the way til... Monday maybe," Rachel mumbled against his neck as she shrugged her shoulder up a bit stretching her back while still trying to stay close to him. "I could pack light, just so I have less to wear," she teased lightly the corners of her mouth curving up into a smirk, "I think two full days sounds amazing."
"The longer you can stay, the happier I am to have you there," he said with a bit of a smirk of his own. "And I can promise you that not many clothes will be required at all. Really, considering the beach is private, and the ones that aren't are still mostly all clothing optional--St. Martin being French, after all--even bathing suits are optional." He shifted a little, stretching a bit and curling on to his side facing her, trailing his fingers over her skin. He ducked his head to kiss her softly, fingers sliding up to cradle her chin. "Have you ever been to the islands aside from the time you followed me to Nassau?" he asked, lifting his head with a bit of a smirk. "Sydney did put a bit of a damper on that, as I recall. I think we can enjoy ourselves a bit more this time."
Smiling against his mouth she returned his kiss, soft and intimate, letting it linger for a moment with her smile before he pulled away a bit. "I have not been to the islands aside from the picking you up from the plane thing, and yes Sydney being there did sort of kill the mood. Though the truth did that a bit too. You did seem happy to see Lydia though, it was sort of cute." Rachel smirked at him before pressing her mouth to his, letting her lips part deepening the kiss for a moment before she pulled away, "Though I'm sure you have an issue with the word cute, but right now you are just incredibly sexy so we can keep that adjective afloat for the moment." Her fingertips strayed against his chin and up along his jawline before settling behind his ear meeting his gaze and smiling again, "Yeah definitely incredibly sexy for the adjective of the day."
He propped himself up on his elbow, lazily teasing his fingers up and down the center of her body, over her stomach as he leaned into her touch The cute comment got a wry smile and a quelling look, as if daring her to use it again, though it softened when the adjective changed. "Incredibly sexy is generally more what I'm going for than 'cute', yes. Cute is not really all that effective in getting through the day. Underestimation can only go so far." Working the dangerous, sexy, never know what's coming vibe on the other hand, generally got him what he wanted, or at least a decent fee and some respect. He'd survived, even as organizations tumbled and cohorts were captured or killed. It helped to make sure people remembered that, and cute? Wasn't going to cut it. "I have to say, though, that I was very happy to see Lydia. I'd never thought to, again, and was regretting it already, though I am sorry the truth took some of the shine off."
Feeling at ease, feeling really at home with Julian beside her wasn't exactly a new feeling but this was awash with a newness that she was planning on clinging to just a bit longer. The truth about who he was had been a bit jarring, and the needling that he'd handed to her during the remainder of the mission built up her frustrations with him. Still the truth had been a beginning and now, even after everything, she trusted him with herself. Not with the detonation codes to anything that would grant him world domination, or the contents of her laptop, but with herself. She felt that was actually a bit more valuable anyway, but that was her own childhood notions of love flitting into her head. As he lay beside her Rachel shifted onto her side, letting her back press to him settling into him more than simply against him. Using his arm and his pillow to rest her head upon as she nodded, "Mmm... if I hadn't found out, I probably would've met you anyway... rather Lydia would've. This is better though," she admitted honestly.
Julian shifted to slide his arm around her waist, his palm resting flat against her stomach. Leaning forward a bit, he dropped a kiss on her shoulder, chuckling softly. "How long do you think we could have kept it up?" he asked. "If Bob had found a way to contact Lydia, to arrange to see her again, and she'd agreed..." He tried to imagine it, knowing he could keep the alias up if necessary, but also wondering when it would have caught up with him. When Sloane sent him after her? Would she have opened the door, and both of them felt the shock of it? Would he have refused, then, if it had been more than just the few hours, the mission? Or would one of them have faltered beforehand, let something slip? If not for Sloane and Irina, it could have gone on for years, he thought, and part of him wondered what that would be like. He knew so many spies who lied to their significant others, who said they did one thing when they did another. The State Department. The bank. If you didn't get involved with someone at work, you almost never told the truth. Would it have been like that for them? Of course, the first time she told him she wanted him to meet her friends, the gig would have been up, but if she was pretending to be Lydia, would it ever have gone that far? It was amusing speculation, but he finally agreed. "You are right, of course. This is better, though it is amusing to think of."
Letting her hand settle atop his against her stomach she laughed at the notion of Bob and Lydia meeting up for hotel rooms and bars. Accents disguising who they were, never letting the other know the truth. In a way it seemed to have some sort of thrill to it, the danger of each of their lives hidden behind the boring guise of modern business. "I'm not sure if I could find enough conferences to pretend to go to just to see you enough to be honest. I'm pretty sure work would've noticed that." Letting her breath pull into her lungs slowly and deeply she settled against him more firmly. Her body relaxed against his, letting the arch of her foot curve against his shin lightly as she shut her eyes for a moment. "Amusing sure, because you're not the one using Wikipedia to support their employment in case Bob would ever want Lydia to talk about her day." Another deep breath and it felt as if the flight had finally caught up to her. The earlier confessions simply awakening her heart and keeping her exhaustion at bay. Now though with everything settling around her she was at ease and comfortable with her life and her situation with Julian.
He watched her as she settled, a small smile on his face as her eyes closed and he saw her chest move with her breath. He pulled his hand away only to reach for the covers and pull them up over the two of them, then snuggled back down right where he had been, hand drifting back to her stomach, fingertips lightly stroking her skin. "You wouldn't have had to lie to work," he pointed out, though his voice was just a soft murmur. "No harm in seeing an American businessman." He dropped a lazy kiss on her shoulder, before settling his head on the pillow and closing his eyes, as well. She was warm in the slight chill the condo had taken on, and he pressed closer to her, nuzzling a little at the back of her neck, feeling a sense of contentment settle over him, a deeper relaxation than he was used to working its way through his muscles. "But heaven forbid I drive you to Wikipedia. I'd never forgive myself."
Her laughter was a small murmur through her still closed mouth, as she took a great comfort in the feel of him easing against her back the way he had. The care he took to tuck them in, the soft press of his mouth to her shoulder, all of it made her realize that she had spoken the truth telling him that she loved him, and that despite his slight teasing in his confession that he loved her as well. "I'll have you know that seeing an American business man is one thing, but traveling to conferences for hot hotel sex is completely another," her words were soft, and still with a great deal of a teasing tone, "Besides correcting Wikipedia is one of my hobbies at work, when I'm not shamelessly locking comments to you. I'd hate for all my valuable information to go unused."
"The American tax dollars at work," he said with the hint of a teasing laugh in his voice. "I am sure Wikipedia appreciates your efforts. I know I do, considering some of what they've got on there." He quieted for a few minutes, just holding her, feeling each breath she took, and the way his naturally shifted to synchronize with hers until they were breathing in almost the same rhythm, the rise and fall in tandem, as close as they were pressed. Part of him wanted to keep talking, to draw out these soft moments of realization with her, to experience the sheer flush of newness that came with it. The other part just wanted to drift off, holding her, knowing she'd be there come morning, still, and the next as well, his to hold by her own choice.
The silence that came after his remark didn't sound empty or needing to be filled with something. She had the notion to try and find something else to say, but instead found some satisfaction of simply being this still with him. Everything with them was always a rush of heat and passion, and she knew there were the quiet moments too, but this was different than all of them. This wasn't simply pure exhaustion playing them to silence, this was both of them just happy to be silent because there wasn't a worry that silence meant an ending. His breathing almost seemed to match to hers, and when it didn't she almost felt her body slowing to make sure it did. To let some other part of her join to him in their silence. Breaking the silence almost felt like a betrayal to everything she was enjoying about there being no need for words but she still wanted to say it because it felt like something else she needed to say just so it felt more real. "Good night Julian," she breathed out as she smiled still resting beside him drifting off slowly.
"Good night, Rachel," he murmured softly in reply, his arm tightening around her a bit. He felt when her breathing evened, as it deepened toward sleep, and he fought to keep it from claiming him until he knew she was sleeping, when the warm weight of her had relaxed completely against him and he could smile a bit one more time and finally let himself follow her.
